Coca-cola Light is NOT Diet Coke

While I was working on my packing list for Denmark last night (which, by the way, is already at 2 pages... fml), I was thinking about things I needed to bring that would be difficult to find while I am over there. It started with things like my birth control prescription for 4 months, which was really easy considering they hand that stuff out like candy at the health center and I already currently have a bag full of 10 months of the stuff, but moved on to things Dramamine and vitamins. Obviously I'll be able to find them somewhere but I am a brand-whore and prefer to take drugs with labels I recognize. It will also be super expensive to replace certain things while I am in Denmark; it will be super expensive to do pretty much anything actually. In fact, Copenhagen is one of the top 5 most expensive cities in the world (Moscow wins number 1).

In typical Laura fashion, my mind wandered to all of the things I should be prepared to live without. I already knew I would be going without McDonalds (a dollar menu burger in Aarhus costs approximately 4 or 5 US dollars) and Starbucks (an espresso drink rings in at about 9 dollars) but quickly realized I wouldn't be paying for a haircut while I was there either (minimum of 100 bucks just for a cut).

Then it hit me: I bet they only have Coca-Cola light.

I immediately flipped out and did some research on Coke's website cause I am a loser and luckily they have a database of all product offerings and the countries in which they can be found. A quick search tells me that I was correct in my assumption that Denmark only has Coca-Cola Light and not Diet Coke. NOOOOOOOO!

To the untrained palate, this may seem like a slight (or enormous) overreaction. "But Laura," you might say, "those sound like the exact same thing. I'm sure they taste the same". I assure you, my friend, that they do not. While the distinction may not be as clear as, say, the difference between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi (don't even attempt to argue about this), the difference exists. For a die-hard d.c. consumer like myself, this poses a problem.

As a seasoned traveler, I have spent a fair amount of time surviving on this substitute while on vacation (Mexico, Russia, Italy, Costa Rica, etc) but NEVER have I been forced to go without Diet Coke for a period as long as 4 months. EVER. We learn in several different classes about the culture shock cycle a person goes through when studying or working abroad. It basically starts with a honeymoon phase where you think everything is awesome and new. Shortly after this you fall into a depression where you just want something familiar and the differences in the way everything is done really start to wear on you. Following this is an adjustment phase where you stop whining and realize no one gives a shit so you just deal with it. Finally, you move into an acceptance phase, striking a good balance between the crazy foreign culture and your stubborn American culture. Luckily, I am pretty aware of my moods and will be able to recognize the symptoms of falling into the depression stage. I think this comes from my issues with blood sugar and how clear the line is between my mood with low blood sugar (read: satanic) and my mood on a normal day. The only thing that worries me is this damn DIET COKE DEPENDENCE. It's not even about the caffeine. It's about the crack I am convinced they put in their soda that has cultivated within me a severe dependence on their product. DAMN YOU COCA COLA, I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING.

Here's a list of the countries that do love me enough to serve Diet Coke:

Afghanistan, American Samoa, Aruba, Australia, Bahamas, Bermuda, Botswana, British Virgin Islands, Canada, Cayman Islands, Egypt, Great Britain, Guam, India, Indonesia, Israel, Japan, Maldives, Malta, Nauru, New Zealand, Nigeria, Northern Ireland, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea, Puerto Rico, Republic of Ireland, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Maarteen, Samoa, Serbia & Montenegro, Seychelles, Turks & Caicos Islands, U.S. Virgin Islands, United States, Vanuatu and West Bank-Gaza.

Really? AFGHANISTAN? PAKISTAN? This is bullshit. What the hell am I going to do?